Babymomma shows a distinct lack of grit

It had to happen some time, Felix was up 5 times last night. Either he's hungry and getting ready for solids, or teething which is making him eat little and often, but the end result is the same - one very tired and frazzled babymomma.

To add insult to injury it was his 4 month jabs today, so he had to have 3 injections and my god did he cry and wobble his little lip like mad - which I found tres upsetting despite all my efforts to stay level-headed about it all. Felix was crying so much, and I felt so sorry for him that tears started leaking out of the sides of my eyes. At least it was graceful, ladylike crying, rather than the full-on, red-cheeked, snotty-nosed, puffy-eyed, ugly-faced blubbing variety, but it was crying in public nevertheless, i.e. a Sign of Weakness, and it was only half ten in the morning.

Still, fingers crossed I make it through the day.

All hail Goddess Nigella

Yesterday

Made Nigella's blueberry muffins yesterday. Yet another triumph from the domestic goddess.

The motivation to bake is because we're having a floral-themed party in a few weeks' time to celebrate Jasmine's due date birthday. A flimsy excuse for a bit of a do really.

I've been panicking for weeks. It was my idea to have the party - it's been ages since I've had one - but ever since the invites went out and just about everyone said yes (why weren't any of them busy that weekend?) I've been mired in party paranoia. Food, entertainment, space (lack, thereof), decoration, what will I wear, is the house safe enough for all the little bubs, do we have enough space? all that worry has flooded in. But the panic has given us enough motivation finally to stow outgrown baby paraphernalia in the loft and offload boxes to the second-hand shop, most of which we hadn't unpacked since we moved in. Just don't open any cupboards in our house without a hard hat, that's all.

Today

Gloriously sunny today. We were planning tozzzz go buy stair gateszzzzzz at Brent Crosszzzzzzzzzzz (admittedly at my insistence - now the bub is crawling I am terrified of going to the loo without fear of her base jumping down the stairs) but such a boring plan didn't fit with such a beautiful day, and when boyfried made his usual joke about going to the zoo we both thought, why not?

Animals were on good form. Took the camera so finally have some more photos to upload. Jambeans' been running a fever today. We think, because of the MMR, but also she's dribbling like mad at the mo so there must be a tooth on the way. She enjoyed the zoo though. Particularly the fish. Man she just loved those fish. Her whole face lit up. I'm sure she thought it was like watching a zillion, enormous tellies, really close up, with no one saying no.

Jabs today

Took Jambeans for her MMR and 3rd Prevenar today. Not a pleasant task, and I'm not brilliant with injections myself. Like most cowards I do experience flashes of panic when they're coming up. But, whether its for me or her, I always try my best to put on a calm and fearless exterior.

I make a point of NEVER looking when they prepare the syringe, and I rarely watch when they stick it in. It's the only way I can really cope with the anticipation of pain. The nurse was in a chatty mood today, and kept up a lively stream of questions as she drew up the syringe, so I didn't have much choice today but to look at the enormous, glinting needle. I always thought that was also the one that went into your flesh. How wrong I was.

The needle that goes into you (or rather, the bub) is diddy.
Tiny.
Miniscule.

What a discovery. I feel cheated. Why did no one tell me that before?