17 minutes and he's still screaming

It's heartbreaking. What do we do? Go and cuddle him? What if that makes him more angry? Feed him to sleep? Surely that can't help break the vicious cycle? I feel like an evil Gina Ford bitch.

Felix does a triangle

Felix is 12 weeks and 2 days old.

He turned corner 1 recently when he started sleeping a couple of 5-6 hour shifts between 6pm-ish and 6am-ish. So Mummy got some decent sleep and was very Happy.

Corner 2 was turned a few days ago when he still managed a couple of 5-6 hour sleep shifts, but at the wrong times of day, so in the evening when we have both had long weary-making days and I desperately want the bubs to SLEEP NOW GODDAMIT we have the company of a very wakey babbling, burbling, occasionally crying and sometimes screaming Felix too.

Which is okay, and thank God I know not to go all Gina Ford on his ass, but being on child duty for longer makes Mummy Tired Again and Grumpy coming so soon after having a blissful taste of decent sleep and thinking 'at last at last at last.'

neglecting jambeans

jambeans, poor little thing, has been a bit neglected on the blog front. bit of an outrage since it's really her blog. so here's the rumpus:

exciting news is SHE'S WALKING. She can do an entire width of the living room quite confidently. Such an amazing milestone I can't believe I haven't rushed to the keyboard before now to mention it.

and she's trying to climb up/in/out of things.
and she's doing red indian impressions.
all seriously cool stuff.

not so exciting news is she got another virus hot on the heels of the last one. no bad chest this time - relief - but 2 full days and nights of 40 degree fever with calpol/ ibuprofen rejection coming towards the end of day2 and all on a weekend when the bf is on call. now i have caught whatever lurgi she had and doubtless bf will succumb before too long. it's been demanding to say the least (= babymomma is hanging by a thread).

in usual baby-bounce-back fashion she's been on good form today. we haven't, but as if we hadn't all suffered enough, pre-molar teething has also kicked in which is really painful. so her good mood and, most importantly, her sleep have been interspersed with serious bouts of shrieking and the inevitable meds rejection.

other thing is she's terribly clingy at the moment. she's deep into separation anxiety territory. which isn't so bad apart from the fact that it's exclusively mummy she wants. quite touching at first, in that 'mummy is best' kinda way. but that sentiment very quickly evolves into weariness at having, literally, to shoulder the baby burden. 'clingy' has reached levels of ridiculousness i wouldn't have thought imaginable, like having to take over from daddy doing the bath yesterday, because it was no good having mummy sit just outside the bath, a mere 15 cm away. No, it had to be mummy IN the bath so the bub can get as close as possible. but it's times like that you remember there's no reasoning with a littlun.

we keep telling ourselves we're going to be firm and ride out the toddler tantrums when she doesn't get her cuddle NOW. but then she screams so loud and her face goes bright red and she looks imploringly into my eyes, arms outstretched, with snot and tears pouring down her cheeks and into her mouth and i just succumb and think: 'next time. next time i will be an evil-gina-ford-type cow of a mum. right now i will reassure my little girl.'

Gina Ford would not approve

Last night Jasmine woke up at 01.30 and could not get back to sleep for aaages. Boyfie did the obligatory nappy check - poo negative - but it did make Jam-beans angrier that she was being left on her own again so she screamed for an hour and a half. Earlier at bedtime she was sooo tired and full that she barely had any milk at all, so I reckon she was hungry. Guilt prevailed and willpower failed at 3am as I caved in, brought her into bed with us and fed her. That took about half an hour, then she and I were both a bit wired and took another 20 minutes or so to fall asleep.

Both up again at 06.30. I am so knackered.

The girlie gang

Here's the girlie gang (my best buddies from school) all sporting stick-on 'taches, which obviously seemed like a good idea at the time.

• Mary, aka Mary-Fairy, aka Mary-Aeroplane, aka Pooh
  
• married to dp's best mate from school, Leon (which is how I met dp and makes us a sort of Fred'n'Wilma'n'Barney'n'Betty type thingy)
  
• her daughter Kate was born just two days before Felix and took Olympic Gold for being the Smiliest Baby In The World
• lives in the West Country with 2 border collie crosses called Milly and Tiki
• knows no fear, her soul belongs in the mountains

• Jade, aka Pooh's best mate Piglet
  
• scandinavian blonde, the smallest and youngest of us all
• power lady, one half of a power couple
• lives in Kent with hubby, little girl and baby boy
• very sharp and witty, knows her own mind, and has most respectfully asked me not to put photos of her on the blog, so I have most respectfully said that's fine with me.

• Giselle, aka Gi, aka Gigi, aka Gi-bum, aka Dizzy Gis, aka Eeyore
• lives in Raynes Park with her brood, Oscar and Esme and hubby Dean
• half Trinidadian, her mother is bit of a firebrand, but Gigi has inherited that chilled out Caribbean vibe
  
• completely neurotic about her body and weight but OH MY GOD is she stunning

• Hannah, aka H, aka Ash, aka Tigger
• is an army Major no less
• lives somewhere, not sure where at the moment because she moves about a lot, with daughter Holly and son James
• boundless energy, one of those people who simply loves exercise (something I have never quite got my head around)
• goes to a party, talks to absolutely everyone and genuinely finds other people's lives fascinating (something I have never quite got my head around)
• missed out on the hilarity (read 'humiliation') of the tash party - this photo is the only other one i have
  

• Ely, aka Ella Bella, aka Animal (we had to borrow from Sesame Street because she was too wild a yoof for any of the Pooh characters)
• mother to Pippa and Zoe (yay for girls)
• lives in the New Forst with the girls, her hubby Simon and their scarily well-behaved border collie Ted, (probably the most obedient dog in the world)
• earth mother and the best listener i have ever known

• and me, aka N, aka Noops, aka Nupsta, aka Owl
• well you know all about me

everyone's gonna kill me - these photos are so unflattering