Jasmine is 1

On April 27th Jasmine turned one, and her birthday was perfect in every way.

We spoiled ourselves with 1 night in a 5 star hotel in absolute luxury at the Ickworth Hotel in Suffolk. It was so worth it. The sun was out and the estate and parklands are stunning - they really set the scene for a great day. Jasmine was on fab form, and laughed and smiled her way throughout.

We did do that reminiscing thing, where we kept going, "this time last year, I was going to the hospital/ screaming for painkillers/ telling Mum the baby was on its way/ in theatre/ looking at Jasmine for the first time." With Jam-beans being premature, it was a really traumatic day that reliving various bits of it were inevitable I guess. Her being early has also coloured our entire first year with her - I just can't believe what a healthy, happy little girl she has turned out to be. I'm so lucky to be able to say that.

We packed it all in. We went for a long walk, fed some mad ducks, did the stately home tour, had a swim and a bike ride (since I don't even know how to ride a bike I'm using the word "we" very liberally here), went on the swings and slide, had birthday cake complete with bad singing and with that all important candle (daddy blew it out on Jasmine's behalf, then ate most of the cake on her behalf too), and took loads and loads of photos.

Officially a toddler

Jasmine is officially a toddler!

We'd been ticking along nicely, then last week Jasmine decided to ramp it up on the developmental milestones.

She took her first steps on Sunday, assisted by Grandma. Then four days after that, managed to crawl for the first time - as in forward crawling, mooncrawling doesn't count.

At first it was sheer pleasure, now it's abject terror. She's mighty insistent (= loud) when she wants something, so now begins the backbreaking months of walking her round the house whenever she likes.

We got her a toddle truck for her birthday which she is totally obsessed with. The only thing is, you can't steer or turn a toddle truck. My friend Caroline B, another Whittington mum, said her bub is going through that phase of going stiff all the time when she tries to sit Rosie down, because she wants to stand. Jasmine has been doing that for a fair few weeks too, but has now thrown in the added challenge of not letting go of the push handle of her truck. Even when you try to turn it around.

Dun summat stoopid

Wednesday 18th April

No sooner have I recovered from Crappy Monday's purse disaster then today I've only gone left my purse on my desk at work. And I'm not back in till next Monday. And, being one of those rather sumptuous but oversized Orla Kiely numbers, it's got my whole life in there.

Aaaaaarrghh.

This is so unlike me. I rather think I've been on sparkling good form today - so no brainmush excuses. I guess it's just because I was cutting it fine and ran out the door in a ruddy blush.

Aaaaaarrghh.

So tomorrow, I think I'll have to get up early and take Jazzy into the office to recover it. On the tube. In the sling. When she won't sit still. On a hot day. With my rubbish bad back.

And thrice Aaaaaarrghh.

But hopefully back in time for swimming with Jessica and her lovely bub-ette.

Yaaaay.

Q: Just how Crappy can a Monday get?

A: Very

Monday started to get Crappy when I arrived at Paddington sooper early to get my Swindon train sooper early and do loads of work before my meeting, but at the ticket machine I realised I had left my purse at home... And then I realised my work mobi had one bar of juice left...

Thankfully it was enough to look up Sam's number, call her from my personal mobi and ask her to pay for my ticket when she arrived in an hours' time (so it could have been worse) but by the time she got there and all the trains were delayed anyway a Crappy Mood had descended and our meeting was pretty Crappy and that pretty much set the tone for the rest of Crappy Monday.

Things like that just make being a working, part-time, flexi-time mum that bit harder as I spent most of the day trying to catch up with all the work I couldn't do while waiting purse-less, ticket-less, coffee-less and breakfast-less at the train station.

Loads of (well, One, really) other Crappy things happened that made me feel like I didn't have the freedom to make decent decisions but had to pander to the Crappy politics and bend Crappily to other people's will.

I still feel frustrated at it all, and now need to focus very hard on not waking up in the middle of the night to mull it all over senselessly when I should be sleeping.

Pooh.
Bottom.
and Bugger.

Didn't realise it could be this fab

Sunday 15th April

Sun's out, Jam-beans is being adorable and I'm still on a huge motherhood roll. So I'm basically going to gush for the whole of this post.

This weekend the weather turned seriously summery, so we've been shopping, gone to London Zoo, chilled at Kenwood House and enjoyed the bluebells at Ashridge. Now I understand why I work part-time - it's just been totally fab.

Brent Cross was heaving, as per usual (I still can't believe how many people don't work on a Thursday. Where do they all come from, and more importantly, where does all that shopping money come from?) Jazzie and I had our first, proper girlie lunch at the food temple that is Carluccios, only she did a poo halfway through and I had to risk leaving pram and shopping bags under the i'm-not-sure-how-watchful eye of the waiter to go change her. Still, everything was there when I got back and it earned him a decent tip. Jazzie's got shiny red teething cheeks at the moment, which, combined with her flirty-long lashes, meant we had a constant stream of mainly octagenarian admirers.

The zoo on Friday was even more heaving - predominantly with chavs, markedly different from the middle-class childfest it was last time we came. There was a huge queue - about an hours' wait we guessed, which thankfully we avoided by paying the daylight-robbery-tenner for the Zoo Car Park, and getting our entrance tickets there. All the animals were out and were being perky. Jasmine loves watching the animals move - she just zones in with her eyes and her face fills with concentration. The new Gorilla Kingdom is fantastic, but even better was the new rainforest enclosure, where we watched sloths and tamarins move about without the usual encumbrance of a glass barrier. Sadly no photos from the zoo to post - we tried our hand at wildlife cinematography instead and got loads of wobbly video clips.

Jam-beans has been amazing for the whole weekend. Soundtrack to her life at the moment is She Wants to Move cos she just can't sit still. She loves to do wobbly standing (as demonstrated in the photo here at Kew a couple of weeks ago) and has made tentative attempts to shift her weight from side to side and take a few steps. She's also mad keen to pull herself up by herself. She hasn't quite managed it yet, but I have lots of stretched tops and bras to show how hard she's been trying to grab hold and pull up.

She's still big on waving, which is adorable and heartwarming because it's such a brilliant way for her to interact with us.















She's also babbling loads at the moment. Syllable du jour is 'ba-ba-ba-ba' but she's also back on 'ma-ma-ma' and I am absolutely convinced (no evidence - just bloody-minded belief) that she knows it means me. She looked straight into my eyes earlier today, paused and then said really clearly 'ma-ma' - I nearly cried it felt so great.

Saturday and Sunday, today, have been for walking in the lovely sunshine. While Jazzie's trying to watch the whole world out there and take it all in, my eyes are just fixed on watching her grow. It's intense, and quite obsessive, but utterly fab and it just keeps getting better.

Weaned at 5 teeth - hurrah

OK - so it's been just under 2 weeks since Jasmine's been weaned completely. A big event, and one that had been weighing on my mind for weeks. I was absolutely dreading it but the advent of another tooth gave me the confidence boost I needed.

But it was remarkably easy, hence the radio silence up to this point. (Obviously, had it been a disaster, I would be keyboard whingeing faster than you could say "ow she bit my nipple again.")

On chosen W-day, we plonked her in her high chair before bath time and gave her a solemn and ceremonious last supper of porridge, which we wolfed down. Then biff baff. Then dressed. Then daddy gave her a bit more porridge in her room. Then straight to bed.

What didn't happen was any moaning, whingeing or whining.
No waking up in the middle of the night - rather she's slept better.
No rooting underneath my top.
No exploding boobs.
Then we weaned her off the morning feed a couple of days later.
Easy.
And since, she's actually started drinking milk from a cup again.
And letting me cradle her for cuddles.
And falling asleep in my arms.
(Which could well be because she's a bit ill again, but I let her do anyway, because I've missed out on 11 months of resistance and it's catchup time.)

What was all the stress about?

Bam-jeans does Heat magazine

Saturday 7th April - Easter weekend

• so into it:
  
• chewing the tops off broccoli heads "no way are these vegetables"
  
• eating raisins like no other food exists "yummy yummy"
  
• drinking milk or water from a cup "but only occasionally mind you"
  
• waving hello
  
• picking up super small things with my finger and thumb
  
• flirting with grown-ups on the tube "you grown ups - you're so easy!"
  
• sleeping thru' 12 hours
• chilling on a rug in the garden
  

• so over it:
• toast "it's easy, it's quick - where's the challenge in that?"
  
• breastfeeding "so for babies"
  
• sitting still "because there's so much to explore"
  
• daddy being on call for the whole of Easter "Borrrring"
  
• Snot Rivers "Joan's evil cousin has laid siege to my nose"
• being last in the pecking order after mummy and daddy for Heat magazine

• so looking forward to:
• baby boyfriends birthday parties - ben, zayne and sam
• mummy and daddy splashing out on a weekend away for my birthday
• auntie mary and uncle leon visiting soon