how to tell people?

going thru that similar uncertainty of how to tell people we're gonna have another babyscrumble without... well i'm not really sure why i find it so bloody difficult except that i do. strangers or people who i know but don't feel particularly close to are fine, but friends - oh so difficult.

maybe it's because pregnancy sucks so much, and that vague anxiety about prematurity is still floating around back there somewhere, and people don't always get that - i'm worried they will just gush and ooze and ooh and aah and say how bloody wonderful it all is, when in fact, it's all totally shit.

and also there's the abject jealousy i feel when faced with anyone who breezed through their own pregnancy, or even who just managed cope and smile (when i am clearly only just coping today and am forcing smiles left, right and centre) and i am afraid that my own mean, bitter green-eyed resentment will just surface if i tell them.

and then i really know at the back of my mind that if i tell my friends they are all rather fab and supportive and make me feel much better.

but i still, for some stoopid bloody-minded reason can't quite do it...