that nagging anxiety about weaning/ bottle rejection/ cup training that i've been desperately trying to control for the last month or so is really beginning to surface. as a result i was feeling quite flat and low about it all last night. talked to the boyfried who told me that a unconfident attitude was part of the problem. he's doubtless right but it made me angry and upset, because it was (supposedly) practical advice but didn't give me any indication as to when and how i should deal with feeding felix during the day.
my mum is the same when i try to talk to her. she has no practical advice to offer but just says "don't worry." it makes me angry because all i really want is for my nearest and dearest to acknowledge how worried i am, that my worries are founded and to empathise with how shit i feel.
sometimes with my mum it's like she assumes felix will wean by himself, and ignores all the effort i have to put in to make it happen. it's hard to convey how very very very frustratingly depressing it is when all your best efforts show absolutely no result day in day out. i'm really not used to failure. and failing twice at the same thing is harder to bear.
so taking bf's advice on board that i needed to change my attitude i recoursed to good ole Google and landed at Berkeley Parents Network, where reassuringly there is a page full of mums (rather, moms) with the exact same problem.
it made me feel:
a) that i'm not the only mum in the world who has to wean to a very real, fixed deadline
b) it's not my fault if the baby won't drink from a bottle - some babies just won't take anything but booby milk from their mums aka i'm not a failure
c) there is no magic answer and babies are unpredictable, so my making it all up as i go along is actually ok.
d) we might have to let felix get very, very hungry indeed
d) he WILL cry if we do that. it WILL be difficult. but it might just work
First weeks back to school and work
8 years ago
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