like a rollercoaster but without the thrills

so life recently has been up down up down up down non stop, actually more yo-yo than rollercoaster, and the down bits are getting a bit boring to say the least.

2 weeks ago jambeans was really ill again, only about a week after i had to pick her up from nursery the last time. so i stayed at home two days to look after her which was sort of ok but i found it quite stressful emotionally cos the bub is all floppy-feverish one minute and we're plying her with calpol, and all grumpy-yelpy-moany the next and mum can't do anything to console her. and all the time, nagging worry worry worry at the back of my mind that she shouldn't fall this hard each time she gets ill, and it always goes to her chest and she gets all wheezy and it's oh do worrying that she's still so vulnerable in her chest, and worries about lung damage as a result of being premature or cos of adenovirus resurface, but nothing we can do while she's still so little and GP just said to ride the virus out, which we did, and she did get better after a couple of days.

then i was at home with her on thursday as usual, and had a day off to look after her on friday as the bf was in paris with auntie leon and uncle mary, watching the england rugby team get mullered by south africa, and he was away saturday too so jambeans and i were on our todd again, and when he came home on sunday was ill, probly cos he ate too much steak done bleu and tartare (and mary had andouillette which is effing impressive tho' i'm guessing she didn't know exactly what she let herself in for) so i looked after her on sunday too and scheeezus was i effing knackered and fed up at the end of it. (seriously - i have no idea how full time mums cope day in day out. give me work any day - sooooo much easier)

so come monday morning i was in a right grump at having had such a shitty week, and missing work and having to catch up yadda yadda and i went along to my cervical scan... and found out we're having a boy.

and everything went in slo mo and all i could think was "we're having a boy!!! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!" even while the probe-thingy was up my unmentionable and the doctor was guddling around.

It's a boy it's a boy it's a boy hurraaaaahhhhhh (we were hoping for a boy) and i was sooooooooooo excited and happy i forgot all about the shitty week and literally sobbed with happiness after the appointment all the way to the tube and some. cervix still looking fine btw - nice and long, and clamped shut, the way we like it.

so we're trundling along, then jambeans is ill again on saturday when i am home alone again as bf is off teaching at a course, but she bounces back again on sunday, so we have a short while to recover, then the bf is working like a bastud this week and is late late late home, and life all feels a bit ho hum hundrum peppered with stress and sleepiness.

still - pampering for mummy day in a few weeks time, plus week off in november.