Gina Ford would not approve

Last night Jasmine woke up at 01.30 and could not get back to sleep for aaages. Boyfie did the obligatory nappy check - poo negative - but it did make Jam-beans angrier that she was being left on her own again so she screamed for an hour and a half. Earlier at bedtime she was sooo tired and full that she barely had any milk at all, so I reckon she was hungry. Guilt prevailed and willpower failed at 3am as I caved in, brought her into bed with us and fed her. That took about half an hour, then she and I were both a bit wired and took another 20 minutes or so to fall asleep.

Both up again at 06.30. I am so knackered.

Just spent a whole load of dosh

We bought a new car. Well, second hand really, but it's only a year old and it's new to us, so that counts, and we're rather excited. I was nominated to negotiate with the dealer. Walked away with a price we're all happy with, but getting the deal seemed a bit too easy and I'm wondering today whether I could have shaved another couple of hundred quid off. Once a haggler...

We had a real moment from The Apprentice when our salesman tried to sell us some seat protection (£450 - what a rip off!). He put some water onto one side of a piece of card 'with protection', and lo and behold, it just sat on the surface. Then he put it on the other side of the card and watched smugly as the water soaked into the fibres. It was like the old adverts for sanitary towels, only in reverse. Ali was sniggering - I couldn't look at him for fear of cracking up. Then the sales dude looked at us and asked in all seriousness "now which would you say was better?" Oh that familiar stench of sales guff.

Jam-beans behaved herself impeccably and only moaned a little at being carted from car seat to pram to car seat ad infinitum for about 3 hours while we went for test drives and the like.

What an angel. Mucho baby-points for that.

Next day drove to my sis' house (here in the photo with the jazzie-bird) to meet up with her and my mum, who has been suffering serious Jasmine withdrawal symptoms. Had a wonderful morning, 3 generations of ladies just chilling in spring sunshine of the front room. It felt like a holiday.

Only downer was Arsenal losing the Carling Cup final to Chelsea (scum) and then having a bust up on the pitch. I'm ashamed to be a fan at times like that. And then boyfie thrashed me at triv again by 6 pies to my measly 2 - but I learned my lesson from last time and, unlike Arsenal, took defeat with good grace.

Thirsty baby

Friday Feb 23rd

Jasmine has started to lap water from the bathtub. It's kinda funny and icky in equal measure.

It reminds me of my favourite Gary Larson cartoon, where a dog presenter is standing in front of a dog audience in a Jerry Springer-type studio. On stage under dimmed lights are the silhouettes of 3 dogs sitting on stools with their heads hanging down. The dog presenter is holding a microphone and saying to the audience "And on tonight's show... dog's who drink from the toilet bowl." It doesn't quite work in narrative format, but trust me, it's brilliant.

Went to Seema's house this afternoon to meet up with her and Zayne (here in the photo on the right) and Caroline B and Rosie (in the photo further down). Had a very chilled time playing with the babies. Zayne is crawling all over the place and getting into all kinds of trouble. He's very cute to watch, but it's slightly alarming as we know we have all that hard work to come. I think our house is going to need some serious baby-proofing.

Ages ago when we were having a mutual moan about not getting out enough, I said to Seema that we should both go swimming together. She's held me to that so we have a provisional plan to go next Thursday evening. It's a good plan. All we have to do now is make sure we stick to it.

Jam-beans continues to be on good form. She's eating like a true trough monster, even veggies (so my gloom and doom prediction of a week ago turned out to be rubbish - she was just off her food at that time bc she was ill.)

We bought her the most hilarious book today about a sheep called Marvin who eats the whole world then vomits it back up again. And the Skwish from eBay finally arrived. So I've been spoiling her, again, which is pointless really because Jam-beans favourite playthings today were a spoon and a piece of cardboard.

About Seema W and Zayne

Seema is another mum I met in the neo-natal unit at the Whit. Her son, Zayne, was in a cot next to Jazzie's. Like good Indian mothers we decided to arrange their marriage immediately, and they have been boyfriend and girlfriend ever since. Here is a photo of them looking adoringly into each other's eyes at about 4 months corrected.

Zayne is a real cutie - small but perfectly formed. (Just like his mum, who is in her late 30s but looks 10 years younger, and is a size 6. You can probably tell I'm quite in awe.) He has huge, brown eyes, a shock of luxurious , curly hair and boundless energy.




Zayne has an elder brother, called Raes (pronounced Reece) who was also premature and between the two of them they keep Seema very, very, very busy. Whenever I speak to her she's always trying to keep one eye on Raes, the other on Zayne, whilst having something fixed in the house, or running to the shops, or to the dentist's, or the doctor's, or nursery, and she always seems to have some banking to do. I don't quite know how she fits it all in. (And I confess the banking thing puzzles me. How much banking can there possible be for the average babymomma? Thank God for internet banking, is what I say.)

I'm sure I'd have a breakdown if I had as much to do as Seema.

When she does make it out, Seema is a very chilled out, loving and happy mum. She's so in control (but in a good relaxed way, as opposed to the neurotic end of the spectrum I inhabit) - I guess (hope) that's the experience of having done it once before kicking in.

Latest Jazzie nickname

It's Jam-beans all the way

Pink pass

Tuesday 20th February, Pancake Day

Boyfie has a pink pass tonight. It's the first time he's had a night out in i don't know how long. It's the first time i've done the evening routine without him in i don't know how long. And I can't remember what going out actually consists of any more. It feels weird. And lately i've been feeling that i would like to start going out again and have some fun, but i think i'm scared of venturing out the front door because i've forgotten where to go and what to do.

how desperately sad.
and old.
and pathetic.

Enough!

Work was good today. I enjoyed myself. I like being back. By the time I'm on the tube platform in the morning I've forgotten about the bub and start looking forward to the day. Guilt-free for a change - it's fab.

Jazzie continues to be an absolute dream. yesterday and today she's come home in the evening from nursery and has done nothing but laugh and play. i tickled her all over this evening and she just giggled and giggled and giggled.

Developmental phase du jour (de la semaine, du mois etc etc.) is banging.

Grumblecake

20th February, Shrove Tuesday

Boyfie woke at 4am today, which woke me up. I was just settling back down to sleep about 20 mins later when Jam-beams woke up and started crying. I gave up just after 5am and fed her, but it was all just too too early for me. 5 o'clock is hard enough, but 4 o'clock is just ruuuude.

No longer a baby

Sunday 18th February

Jam-beans has been an absolute delight this weekend. Her personality and independence are really coming through - she reaches for specific toys, makes a noise when she wants something, lifts her arms up to be picked up, watches where something drops and when she babbles it just sounds like she's saying something specific.

She sits on her own quite beautifully now. I'm not quite sure when the wobbling stopped, and the balancing started - I feel like I've missed something.

As predicted, her veggie rejection is almost complete so today she's been a good little food guinea-pig for us. Lots of food firsts today - her first pasta, went down a treat, her first meat, gobbled up, her first finger food - half a rice cracker successfully munched rather than being used asa drumstick before being cast off the high chair.


To look at her, she doesn't seem like a baby any more. She's losing the big doe-eyed look. She obviously isn't a toddler yet, so I'm not quite sure what she is. Whatever she is, it's very very very cute.

School tomorrow :-( I just want to stay at home and play with Jazzie.

Sick babymomma, again

Sunday 18th February

I caught another bug of some description. I can still function but I am so bored of being ill.

Jam-beans, thankfully, is just about back to normal.

Car saga

The car accident is turning into a bit of a saga.

Basically, a couple of Saturdays ago, I was driving along a main residential road, when a car turning right out of a side street pulled out in front of me. He didn't see me, and I couldn't stop in time so we crashed.

It's clearly his fault. He admitted as much, but his insurance company told us last week that he is contesting liability. Dp called them to ask what his version of events was, and he's basically not telling the truth about where our cars were, and who was on the main road and who was on the side road. I'm so mad with him. When the accident happened I felt sorry for him because, even though it was his fault, I believe that a lapse in concentration can easily happen to anyone - it was his bad luck. Now I just feel stupid for ever having wasted my sympathy on him, and I'm totally angry with him for trying to lie.

Thnakfully, there is a witness who was kind enough to stop and gave his details in case we needed a 3rd party opinion. I didn't think that people did that these days, but he has restored my faith in humanity.

Our rubbish courtesy car (Nissan Micra - totally useless if you have a baby) has been replaced by a slightly less rubbish hire car (Citroen C3 - slightly less useless). It appears that our beloved car not only has damage to the bodywork (fender, headlight, front panels) but also to the suspension and steering.

The insurers want to write it off. So now we are shopping for a new car.

On the mend

Thursday 15th February

Jazzie's definitely on the mend - her eyes are almost clear and she's returned to her usual demanding and grabby self. (You know, the sort of thing that goes: Carry me! No not like that, or that, or that. No I don't want to be on my tummy. I want to stand. Hold me while I stand. Oooh, I want that. I'm gonna reach for it. Ow, that hurt. Waaah. Ooh, I want that one instead. Help me reach for it. No I don't want to lie on my back I want to stand. What happens if throw it? Where's it gone. Ooh, I want that. I want it i wants it i wants it i wants it NOOOWWWW. Ooh, what happens if I throw it again? Where's it gone? Ooh, I want that. No, I don't want to lie on my tummy. Waah. Ooh, what's that? ad infinitum)

I felt exhausted today and couldn't quite summon the energy to make it to yoga. To be honest, am probably also quite nervous at the prospect of getting in a car again, as I haven't driven since the accident.

Oooohhhh - nearly forgot, Nicki, who I work with, had a little girl yesterday evening on Valentines Day. How cuuuuuute! I felt myself welling up - it's such an amazing thing bringing a new baby into this world.

I can sleep tonight

Arsenal pulled through in the end with a 3-1 victory so I can get some sleep tonight.

I'm so rubbish - what's the point in being a fan if I can't even watch the matches?

The girlie gang

Here's the girlie gang (my best buddies from school) all sporting stick-on 'taches, which obviously seemed like a good idea at the time.

• Mary, aka Mary-Fairy, aka Mary-Aeroplane, aka Pooh
  
• married to dp's best mate from school, Leon (which is how I met dp and makes us a sort of Fred'n'Wilma'n'Barney'n'Betty type thingy)
  
• her daughter Kate was born just two days before Felix and took Olympic Gold for being the Smiliest Baby In The World
• lives in the West Country with 2 border collie crosses called Milly and Tiki
• knows no fear, her soul belongs in the mountains

• Jade, aka Pooh's best mate Piglet
  
• scandinavian blonde, the smallest and youngest of us all
• power lady, one half of a power couple
• lives in Kent with hubby, little girl and baby boy
• very sharp and witty, knows her own mind, and has most respectfully asked me not to put photos of her on the blog, so I have most respectfully said that's fine with me.

• Giselle, aka Gi, aka Gigi, aka Gi-bum, aka Dizzy Gis, aka Eeyore
• lives in Raynes Park with her brood, Oscar and Esme and hubby Dean
• half Trinidadian, her mother is bit of a firebrand, but Gigi has inherited that chilled out Caribbean vibe
  
• completely neurotic about her body and weight but OH MY GOD is she stunning

• Hannah, aka H, aka Ash, aka Tigger
• is an army Major no less
• lives somewhere, not sure where at the moment because she moves about a lot, with daughter Holly and son James
• boundless energy, one of those people who simply loves exercise (something I have never quite got my head around)
• goes to a party, talks to absolutely everyone and genuinely finds other people's lives fascinating (something I have never quite got my head around)
• missed out on the hilarity (read 'humiliation') of the tash party - this photo is the only other one i have
  

• Ely, aka Ella Bella, aka Animal (we had to borrow from Sesame Street because she was too wild a yoof for any of the Pooh characters)
• mother to Pippa and Zoe (yay for girls)
• lives in the New Forst with the girls, her hubby Simon and their scarily well-behaved border collie Ted, (probably the most obedient dog in the world)
• earth mother and the best listener i have ever known

• and me, aka N, aka Noops, aka Nupsta, aka Owl
• well you know all about me

everyone's gonna kill me - these photos are so unflattering

The thing about me and football

The thing about me and football is that I'm a passionate, but terribly nervous spectator.

Watching a game involves tension, stress, palpitations, hiding behind cushions, swearing at the commentators, swearing at the ref, swearing at the opposition, swearing at the managers, swearing at the players, changing channels and, more often than not, finding pretexts to run out of the room because I can't bear to watch.

Tonight is no exception. Arsenal just let Bolton equalise in the 91st minute of a match. I'm angry, nervous and super-stressed and I simply can't cope with watching extra time.

Why couldn't they just hang onto their lead, and give me some hope of being able to get to sleep tonight?

About Jasmine

• Born 27th April 2006, 9 weeks premature
• Proud celebrator of 2 birthdays (actual birth date and due date on 28th June)
• Hobbies: eating, sleeping, weeing, pooing, gurgling, yelping, being a princess, looking cute
• Has many aliases, current favourites being that spilgy bub and Jassa-mina-vacuum-cleaner because of her fondness for hoovering food
  
• Shows early signs of having inherited family traits of obstinacy, impatience and looking cute
  
• First baby, first niece and first grandchild - hence ridiculously loved and doted on by her silly parents and spoiled rotten by her grandmas
  
• Did I mention how cute she looks?

Rolling over take 2

The gorgeous Princess Jassamina rolled over again from back to front today, only this time both mummy and grandma got to witness it.

After initial surprise, she rewarded us with a huge smile, so I think she must be on the mend.

Her eyes seemed much better this evening so I think they might clear up soon, and she wasn't coughing as fiercely as yesterday. Fingers crossed she continues to recover. I was really worried at work today and found it hard not to talk about her.

About Jasmine's birth part 3: hospital

So it's installment three (see part two here and part one here) and I've only just made it to the hospital for my midwife's appointment. Hmm, I'm labouring the story a bit, if you'll pardon the pun. So I'll try and be brief.

Basically, after about 5 minutes of argy-bargying with the midwife about painkillers (none available in the ante-natal unit whatsoever, and it was in a bleeding hospital - you would have thought...) and how my back was killing me, and how I needed a physiotherapy referral, I heaved myself onto the table for an examination. Three short questions ensued:

MW: (placing hands lightly on tummy) Does that hurt?

Me: (crying) Yes

MW: And does it feel like period pain?

Me: Yes

MW: And does the pain come and go?

Me: Yes

MW: Girl, I think you're in labour.

So that was about that. So after some machines, tests, much denial, some anxiety, frantic phone calls and an emergency c-section later, Jasmine was born.



Here's a photo of her at about 2 days old, just after she came off C-pap. She just came out so beautiful.
At first I loved looking at her early photos but a few months after bringing her home I found it more difficult, and still come over all weepy when I look back at them.

Abbreviations

There are only 2 really -

• dp = darling partner = boyfried
• db = darling baby = jazzie

Jazzie is a bio-hazard

Went to the hospital yesterday for what we had hoped would be Jasmine's last postpartum check-up. It's really supposed to be a review of her development, to make sure everything is progressing OK and that there are no complications as a result of her being premature, but inevitably we used it as an excuse to get a Paediatrician give our sick bub the once over.

Within seconds he had diagnosed her as having adenovirus, a very nasty virus that has led to Jazzie's conjunctivitis, croup-like cough, sore throat, sore ear, runny nose and fever. It's not the best news, but at least we know what it is now. She's had conjunctivitis for over a week now, and they said that it can last as long as 10 days. Apparently her cough will last as long as 3-4 weeks as the protective lining of her chest has been affected and needs to re-build itself fully (or something like that.)

So, grandma still here and being our guardian angel, and Jazzie gets a reprieve from nursery, which I bet she loves. Last time we saw the paediatrician he said Jazzie was 'the full package'. This time he said she was a 'bio-hazard.'

Poor poor poor poor little bub.

Icky and antsy and anxious

Sunday today. Jazzie seemed better yesterday but today conjunctivitis spread to left eye and fever returned, though not as severe as 2 days ago. Appetite still not as healthy as normal, and she's less enthusiastic about veggie slush than ever. Anxious parents resorted to cooking each meal fresh and still not hesitating to leave said veggie slush to one side at first indication of refusal and ladle out lashings of porridge if it meant the bub would eat and be happy.

Lots and lots and lots of yelping today. Lots and lots and lots of eye goo (or iGoo if you are Steve Jobs). Lots and lots and lots of cuddles and carrying the bub. Arms ache, back aches, neck aches. But I wouldn't have it any other way.

There was quite a bit of unspoken tension between mummy and daddy about what to do tomorrow. She seemed fairly well this morning, so it was all - should we send her to nursery? What if they want to send her home? Who shouldn't go to work? We were both prepared to compromise but that, combined with the bub's generally being quite unwell plus watching Arsenal go 1 goal down at home to premiership laggards Wigan was making me feel very very icky and antsy and anxious.

Then Arsenal clawed back a 2-1 win in the last 10 mins.

And our guardian angel arrived in the form of grandma who had dropped everything and drove about 200 miles in record time (don't want to think how fast) to stay with us for the next couple of days and look after Jazzie so we can both work and know the bub is in good hands.

I said it was like batman answering the bat signal. Dp said "more like old-bat signal".
And despite myself, I nearly wet myself laughing.

Baby rolled over. Hurrah!

Amidst all the upset of last week I forgot that Jasmine rolled over from back to front for the first time.

Shame I missed it :-(

I was in the kitchen making a sarnie, Jazzie was in the lounge playing on her back. One buttered slice of bread later she started screaming blue murder - you know the kind of scream where you know something is wrong. So I rushed in to find her on her front with her left arm, her left hand and a wooden spatula that she was holding in her left hand all caught underneath her body.

She was screaming because she couldn't work her arm free but couldn't quite work out that letting go of the spatula was the solution.

Sick baby sick babymomma

Jazzie's conjunctivitis just seems to be getting worse and now she has a very painful cough and her nose is pouring rivers of snot again (after only a 2 day respite). She's febrile and earlier today had a tempertaure of 38.9 (and boyfie says I should add about 1 degree to axilla temperature) so that's pretty bad. She's alternated between pitiful bouts of crying and lethargy today, won't drink water (as per usual), is still eating but less heartily than normal, and has slept loads. She's so miserable - I just want to cuddle her all the time, and for once in her life she's quite happy to let me do that. She's even elected to fall asleep in my lap on a few occasions so she must be really sick.

Wouldn't be so bad, apart from the fact that some vicious flu-ey type virus got hold of me yesterday and I feel like death warmed up. No kidding. I think I have aged 40 years. My joints really ache, my back is hurting and I am all shivery cold cold cold cold cold (but boyfie says that tho' it may feel cold actually I am shivery hot hot hot hot hot and I am not allowed to wear snuggly slippers or 3 jumpers or cover myself in blankets which is torture for a coldophobic like me.) Worst of all is that my skin burns and is very sensitive to any kind of movement - not exactly helpful.

I just want to curl up into a ball and wait for it to pass but baby needs to be fed, cuddled, carried, reassured and she comes first. I feel really miserable and want to moan moan moan moan moan, and most of all just have a huge tantrum and crying fit, apart from the fact that I really don't have the energy and that I know it won't achieve anything.

Looking after a sick baby is hard work in itself but looking after a sick baby when you are sick yourself is the pits. What with car crashes, and bloody insurance people, and having to stay at home in my first week of work, and buckets of snow, and Jazzie being ill, and me getting the flu this is turning out to be one seriously crappy week.

Snowed under

The whole of the South East of England has been covered in a deep blanket of snow. It looks gorgeous, but of course means that everything grinds to a standstill. The TV doesn't even work for chrissake (no satellite signal, that old chestnut, but that's normally fixable).


The only time I like snow is when it's on the side of a mountain so I'm resolved not to step foot outside the front door today, unless, of course, the recovery van comes to pick up the car and leave a replacement.

About baby yoga

I never thought I'd be the kind of mum who did classes (you know - massage on Monday, music on Tuesday, art & craft on Wednesday and so on) but I have to say that baby yoga has turned out to be my saving grace. That's even more impressive considering I'm a self-confessed yoga-hater (well, ex-yoga-hater now).

The class I go to is actually Yoga for Mums, I just call it baby yoga because you can take your baby with you. It's held at the Active Birth Centre in Archway, and run by a lovely Irish lady called Lynn Murphy.

My secret nickname for Lynn is the Baby Whisperer because she only needs to look at Jazzie, or pretty much any baby, smile and say hello in that beautiful, resonant voice of hers and the bub goes instantly smiley and gooey. It's like watching magic.

Being a yoga expert, Lynn is also very chilled, willowy thin, and looks about 25 though I guess she must be a lot older than that. And she has an Orla Kiely purse like mine so she's obviously very cool ;-) In short, I like her very much.

So we get to the class, have a little chat with the other mums, coo over the babies and then start the class. We normally start by relaxing on our backs and focusing on our breath. Then we start working the core muscles (around the pelvic floor) and take it from there to more floor work or standing stretches. It's excellent for my lower back, which has been quite troublesome ever since a bad car accident about 10 years ago, and I'm sure has helped my body cope much better with the stresses and strains of looking after a little baby all day. I'm one of the least flexible people I know, but the amazing thing is that I (almost) never feel self conscious about how I'm doing compared to the others and I think that's why I like the class so much. On good days (i.e. when Jazzie is quite happy and doesn't need a lot of attention) I tend to leave feeling about 3 inches taller and with a big grin on my face.



Incidentally, the Active Birth Centre is the place where Naomi Stadlen holds the mother's talking groups that formed much of the content of her book What Mother's Do. Tash, my sister's best friend, gave the book to me as a present when Jazzie was only a few months old, and for new mums it's worth a read.

Bad news day

Caroline called last night to tell me that she had been bleeding, and her first scan showed the foetus didn't have a heartbeat. She's still in her first trimester, about 9 weeks, and it was only recently I mentioned she was pregnant at all. Now she has to wait to pass the pregnancy. She sounded very calm and resigned to the bad news, she has after all coped with much much worse, but I know how gutting it is. I tried to give her my love and some support but it just felt inadequate. I felt desperately sad.

My first week back at work is not as smooth as I had hoped. I had arranged for the garage to pick the car up this morning and for me work from home until they arrived. My boss said it was OK but I knew he wasn't 100% pleased with the faltering start. Boyfie said it wasn't the end of the world if he didn't have a car for his on call (though I don't see how - if he gets called in at 3am it's going to be a mighty struggle) and that I should rearrange the car pick up for tomorrow and go into work today.

So I did that, but the bub woke up this morning with oodles of pus seeping out of her eye - the nursery warned me yesterday that conjunctivitis was going round. So I had to let work know I couldn't come in today at all. That was really, really hard. Despite the fact that things are out of my control I still felt somehow responsible, and as if it could count against me.

So not a great day. And I can't even go and see Caroline to because bub has a nasty contagious virus and I don't have a car.

Websites are the new TV ads

(With apologies to Private Eye's Neologisms column)

I found this quote by Ajaz Ahmed (founder and chairman of AKQA) that struck me as being quite true:

"It used to be that the most visible expression of a brand, apart from the product itself or the service experience, was the TV commercial. Today, the most visible expression of a brand is the web site."

First week back at work

So, Tuesday evening and my working week is already more than half over. Hahahahaha - feels good saying it like that.

Not that going back to work has been bad in any way. So far I've enjoyed myself tremendously - it feels good to get back into the adult world, catch up with a lot of friendly faces and look forward to some new projects.

My job role has changed, and I did have a few reservations about that because I loved my old job. But I'm resolved to be a radiator (as opposed to a drain) about it all, so even though I will miss managing the team (i.e. being bossy, having the status, knowing what's going on etc.) I know I certainly won't miss all the day-to-day tedium of it, or the feeling of having to firefight all the time, or having to compromise on quality or service by making tactical decisions because timing is everything in the world of retail.

Looking after long-term projects and being responsible for strategy is definitely a great place to be. It's going to free my mind up and let me get a lot more creative which is what I missed in the old role. Kirsty even told me that it hadn't been the same since I left, and that the projects weren't as interesting. It was a real compliment - I could have kissed her.

As for downers - there aren't many so far, just getting used to being super tired if Jazzie decides to start the day at 4.30am, like she did this morning!!! And also the responsibility of being a parent who works is a bit weird. Today the nursery called to say Jasmine was ill (she was, in fact, only a teensy teensy weensy bit unwell and they were making moutains out of molehills) and I was in Swindon. That felt a bit stressful and distracted me from work somewhat so I did go back half an hour early. Everyone at work was very understanding though, so I think it will be fine in the future.

Onwards and upwards

Had a car accident

Terrible day yesterday - had a car accident (not my fault) and an argument with the boyfried. But we did go to the fish shop and met a man who was one hundred and three and it was sunny and we had a cuddle afterwards and made up.

The Jazzie-bird completely oblivious to the drama (she was at home with her daddy while I was having a car crash) and spent most of the day yelping and eating and weeing and waving her arms around and generally being a bit of a prima donna.

Veggie rejection

I've been getting a bit paranoid recently about veggie rejection. At home and nursery Jazzie is showing a definite preference for sweet porridge, and has refused a few meals of lovingly-prepared veggie sludge, so I keep suspecting full blown refusal is going to happen soon - probably because stubborn rejection (bottles, cup etc. etc.) is a firm favourite of hers. Every time she turns down a spoonful (accompanied by much raspberry-blowing in protest) I feel a slight 'ohno' twinge, though so far it seems that she simply hasn't been hungry for more at the time.

My trusty parenting book says that eating finger foods is another one of those things that when it happens, comes along very quickly, so there's not much need to worry as it will expand the repertoire of taste and texture that Jazzie will like, so in the spirit of being prepared, I've been thinking about what my plans B, C and D could be.

I'm praying for a lot more time though as so far Jazzie still can't get past the idea that a rice cracker is a toy.

Jazzie's friends Ben, Caroline's little boy, and Noah from baby yoga are both eating more solid food so I am getting plenty of tips. Noah, apparently, likes scrambled egg, prefers pizza crust to bread but still can't quite get his head around chunks of banana. Ben loves banana and apple-flavoured rice cakes but not plain ones.

Saw Caroline today, who is still blooming with bun number 2 slowly cooking. We went to one of those kids play activity centres in Wood Green. To be honest, Jazzie is still a bit young to take full advantage but she liked seeing her boyfriend, and going somewhere different and watching all the other kids play. I, on the other hand, had a great time - probably better than the bub did. We got there really early, and no one else was there so I had a quick play in the big activity gym.

It was brilliant.

There were lots of different levels to climb up, and little lookouts, and nets to peep through, and one of those big mangle-type things where you squeeze your body between two squidgy rollers to get to the next section, and right at the end was one of those wavy slides from the top level to the ground, and my bum didn't get stuck (thank god) and I went down super fast and even took off over the bumps and got a bit scared that I wouldn't slow down in time when I got to the bottom but it was Ok and I jumped up with my arms in the air going this is brilliiiaaannnnt, again again AGAIN. On the slide I even managed to scrape a whole load of skin off my elbow which will turn into a lovely scab I can pick. The ladies who ran the place were in hysterics. Then Ali had a sneaky go too, but we had to stop after that bc lots of other grown ups arrived with their kiddywinks.

Juggling

Jazzie loves to watch Daddy juggle - it sends her into fits of hysterics. Dp is really quite good at juggling so to save on bruised fruit we bought some proper juggling balls today and he has been performing for the bub, to her great joy and amusement.

Mummy happens to be excellent at juggling too, but I juggle nappies, and the baby, and veggie slush, and washing, and more nappies, and toys, and, from Monday, work and all the other stuff that life chucks at us. Just as difficult but far less entertaining.

Oooh we spoiled the bub today with more toys - cute little rattle, Hairy Maclary book. Think I have guilt in advance of going back to work and want to spoil the little baby splaby just a wee little bit.

Limbo princess

Grazyna, my cleaner, is back from her 2 week holiday today and I have a shiny clean house again. Hallelujah! Yesterday on Xfm Tomks did a text-in to the question 'what is the secret of a successful relationship' - my suggestion: if you can afford one, get a cleaner without delay.

Yesterday I reminded boyfried that we are equals again once I go back to work, and that the laundry-folding fairies, and dishwasher-loading fairies told me they are going to leave the house.

Jazzie's gone a bit bonkers this afternoon - she's alternately laughing, yelping, playing, smiling, laughing, yelping, playing, smiling and so on. Her normal sleeping/ eating patterns have gone haywire today so I couldn't for the life of me work out what was wrong. Did the usual 'hungry? check. wet nappy? check. too hot? check. sleepy? check.' to no avail until a sneaky eye rub helped me out. Right now she's manically and very loudly chewing herself to sleep on a muslin.

Weird baby.

Really enjoyed baby yoga today - I feel thoroughly stretched and relaxed. I forgot how much of a highlight to my week it is and have stopped worrying about the exorbitant price of parking. To be fair, I am lazy and could park 2 minutes up the road, for free, but no, I like to park right outside the front door. I'm just slightly worried about not being able to do other things (just the Jazzie princess and I) after I go back to work, bc Thursday is my only free day really and yoga is slap bang in the middle of the day. Maybe I will go alternate weeks.

Jazzie couldn't stop showing off her crabfish pose, which she can now do one-handed while the other hand variously grabs for things above her (toys, specs, hair - that kind of thing). She's only one hand away from being the world's youngest limbo princess.