A time to reflect

So, you would have thought that a black man winning the US presidential race would lead me to reflect on, ahem, concerns of a slightly more global import.

But instead I find myself thinking how this time last year I was pregnant and having an amazing holidaying in the Cotswolds.

And how today, I was getting on the tube to come home and I brushed the rucksack of some asian looking dude, and how he got all jumpy and protective over it and took it off his shoulder so he could carry it in his arms, and how I got a feel for the weight of that rucksack, and how the dude looked at me nervily, and then how the thought pierced my paranoia shield that he could well be muslim, and that since he was sitting right next to me with what might be a bomb how I would definitely die, and then who woul pick the kids up? and what would they do without a mama? but also how unready I was to listen to my own paranoia and get off the tube, especially as it would be doing a most-likely-normal-person an enormous injustice and i really couldn't be that racist how I was already running late to pick the kids up as it was.

And then he got off at Leicester Square anyway and i realised how pathetic I was being. (asian dude - wherever you are - i am sooooo sorry)

And then I reflected on how I managed to sit on the northbound Northern Line platform at Kings X and tell myself 3 times over NOT to get on the next train, because it was the Edgware branch, and then found myself on the next train and telling myself 3 times over to get off at Camden and change to the High Barnet branch, then finding myself at Chalk Farm, ie past Camden and heading north towards Edgware, and having to cross the platform to go back south so I could get off at Camden and change onto the High Barnet branch, then bf called and said 'I've got the kids' which was a relief but then I found myself stuck at Mill Hill East because I didn't check the destination of the train I boarded on the High Barnet platform at Camden, and how I had to wait 20 minutes for the train at Mill Hill East to turn around and trundle back south to Finchley Central, and how I had to run over the bridge to the other platform to get a northbound train that went to High Barnet, and how I missed it and had to wait another 4 minutes to get a train that finally took me home.