The fog is lifting

It's been a totally crappy few weeks. Bf and I seem to be permanently snapping at each other. I'm crying, lots. Whatever virus hospitalised Jambeans has passed onto the rest of us and we all have nasty, phlegmy, hacking coughs and runny noses and it's taking its toll physicially. I'm trying to juggle some freelance work. It's the kind of stuff I was doing about 7 years ago. It's dispiriting but it pays the bills (or some of them at least) and when I'm there it's balanced out by the great set of people I'm working with. But it's simply NOT what I want to be doing, and its getting me down the rest of the time. Felix and Jambeans have taken turns to vomit and cause havoc and wake up at stupid hours. My Dad, who's been in hospital for a month, was transferred to a nursing home and we got less than 24 hours notice. He didn't have so much as a pair of pants to keep him going and we haven't got a clue where the money's going to come from to ensure he has long-term care. It all adds to the stress. And of course, we're so so so so so soooo tired.

So we took time out yesterday, got a babysitter in and went to see Star Trek at the flicks. And it totally rocked. And this morning, I felt as if the fog was finally lifting.

In which Babymomma and poppa leave the house sans enfants

Since grandma is up we took the opportunity to go out in the evening: an event so rare it's worthy of mention. Went to the Flicks. Saw Burn After Reading. It was pretty good. It must have been - I didn't fall asleep. The experience of going out in public tho' was totally weird. I felt like an alien visitor to another planet.

Tommy Lee Jones attitude

One of my favourite film moments is in the remake of The Fugitive. The rozzers (or cops, really) are sneaking round a house where some of the fugitive murderer bad guys are hiding out. One of the baddies grabs hold of the sidekick cop, holds a gun to his head and starts hollering to be let free or the cop gets it. Tommy Lee Jones, being the cool sharp-shooting police dude that he is takes out the baddie in a flash. The sidekick later protests that he could have been killed, and that TLJ could have negotiated. TLJ just whispers coolly in his colleague's ear "I don't negotiate."

It is this detached, unrelenting mindset that I try to emulate as I engage the anti-tantrum shield, stop any attempt to reason with the toddler, and decide that she either eats the food she asked me to cook her, with the fork she asked me for, from the bowl she decided she wanted and then goes to bed OR she can scream until snot comes out of her eyes and then go to bed hungry.