Everything's gone wrong, nearly

Monday 19th February

It's just been one of those days today.

Got back pretty late from a (very relaxed) long weekend away, but after 3 nights kip on squashy mattresses and a long drive we were cream crackered. Jasmine was an angel on the journey - managed to time it so we caught her sleeps mainly - but made up for it by waking up every 2.5 hours during the night.

We think some b**stard has driven into the back of our lovely new car, and then driven off. The right hand brakelight doesn't work, and there's a noticeable scrape just above the fender that definitely wasn't there 2 days ago. So I have to give up my Thursday trip to see Caroline and schlepp over to the garage instead.

Got to work to find out that a big plc has put in a bid for our company and the story was leaked to the press. Not the best way to find out, and makes life seem a lot more uncertain - especially for a part-time babymomma with career ambitions.

All this and it's not even 8.30am.

Then the rest of the day was busy busy busy busy which is not easy when you are knackered knackered knackered knackered.

And boyfried had a horrible dizzy spell in the evening and just feels like poo.

And he has root canal surgery on Thursday.

And he's on call for the whole of Easter.

BUT it is his birthday in 2 days time, and I have managed to order him a new card which is even better than the one I lost, and managed to get him a half-decent present.

No more hoovering, ever

Thursday 15th March

Bam-jeans did a big vomit all over our bed as I was feeding her this morning. Her head was just covered in smelly milky upchuck. Poor bf, who desperately needed a lie in, had to get up to scrub the mattress and change the sheet. I hope it's not the start of a virus as we are planning to go to the West Country tonight, to see the folks and chill out for the long weekend.

Jazzie has been fighting the snot monster again, so unbroken sleep has been scarce. Her 4 teeth are getting really sharp. She's started to get impatient with her feeding chair and her buggy and moans and wriggles after a few minutes in them. I guess she just wants to move - she's rotating round on her tummy and rolling over pretty much constantly, so I suspect she'll be crawling before her 1st birthday. She has also earned to pull my hair with renewed vigour, and pluck at vest straps. Today, she has mainly been saying aah-waah-aah-waah-aah-waah-aah-waah-aah-waah-waaah-waahh-waah over and over.

Mother's Day is this Sunday. May sound stoopid but I'm looking forward to it, being my first and all that.

Bf's birthday is next week. I ordered him a very funny card from Moonpig last week and now I've bloody gone and lost it. I suspect it ended up in the recycling bin. Not like me to be so careless but I have been a total zombie this week so anything could have happened.

Other stuff. Work was OK last week. Got stuff done. Met up with my friend Simon who's back in the UK after a 2-year sojourn in Sydney and that was very cool.

We haven't been up to much. Had some friends over for a very chilled lunch last Saturday. Watched a couple of films. I had a mammoth Spring cleaning fit last week and did the whole house. My back's been killing me ever since - I can barely carry the bub - so I've been popping painkillers about twice a day. I spoke to my mum and she told me, on doctor's orders, never to touch a hoover again. Advice like that I can handle.

Jazzie and Uncle Arun

Just got the pics in from Arun's visit last weekend. Here's Jazzie posing with her uncle Arun.

Stories I am too tired to write about

Well, I was going to try and write about Nicki and new baby Siena, who has been putting on weight quite slowly since being born (on Valentines Day - just over 3 weeks ago), so Nicki's Dairy has opened 24/7 for feeding and expressing and bottles.

Or how Jam-beans has slept well for the last 3 nights and gone back to 10 hour stints. Even though that still means I am up at 5am.

Or that tooth number 4 is appearing.

Or that she seems to be back on vegetables, for yesterday at least.

Or how yesterday she looked as if she was realy trying to crawl, as she pulled herself round in a circle on her tummy.

Or how things that I thought would be hard at work are turning out to be easy. And things I didn't even think of are turning out to be a real challenge. (Like the stop-start-stop-start of doing 3 days a week, and missing all the good things about my old job, but forgetting what was hard about it).

Or how within two weeks of losing the Carling Cup, and going out of the FA cup, Arsenal have now bombed out of the Champions League. And Man U, Chelsea and Liverpool all made it to the quarters, which makes it harder, and Thierry Henry is injured for at least 3 weeks, which makes it totally pants.

Instead I am going to moan about feeling so tired I can barely function.

Cute Jazzie pics

Just uploaded a whole load of pics from my phone, so here's the pick of the crop.

"No papparazzi"


Biff-baff-time


Intensely curious about the camera


Good enough to eat

Tummy-time princess

Making friends with Humphrey and Ambrose
(bf if you are reading this, they're my tigers - not hers)

Chez grandma on her first holiday in the West Country

Oh-too-used to the attention and kisses from her Daddy

All cute and snuggly warm in her new snowsuit last Christmas

With my Dad at about 3 months old. She's looking a bit vacant cos she's about to fall asleep. Dad, of course, is pleased as punch to be a granddad.

Visitor from Boston

My cousin Arun was in London for the weekend from Boston (where he studies for an MBA at MIT - comes from a whole family of over-achievers) and he came over to see us. Judith was in North London too, and popped in, so we all had a very chilled day sitting around the kitchen table and catching up. It was great to see Arun - he's an all round lovely guy, and proves that not all yanks are evil.

Jasmine's definitely off vegetables now, and feeding time has stretched from about 15 minutes to about an hour as we try giving her different things before succumbing to porridge. She's a lot more demanding these days too - and if she's hungry and has to wait a little while we make her food, she throws a hissy fit and can try to lurch out of her chair quite violently. It's not so bad at the moment, but definitely more painful on the ears and she's moved up a gear in testing our patience.

Her sleeping is not so great. In the last week we've had one night of respite when she slept through, but the rest of the time she's woken up in the middle of the night and cried for anything from 45 mins to 3 hours. Last night it was 90 mins. We're tired today. Am dreading a repeat performance tonight as I hate working when I'm knackered.

She's started soiling her nappies in the middle of the night so we have to go and check, and that does make things worse. I really succumbed last night - I simply had to pick her up and give her a cuddle, then I tried some Bonjela, which she wouldn't take, so she was even more upset, which led me into bringing her into the bed with us. Boyfie was obviously tired and trying to get some kip, but the minute I lay Jazzie down she would let out a piercing scream. Eventually he gave in and went outside to do something else. I felt v. guilty so eventually put Jam-beans back in her cot so we could both go back to bed. At least I didn't feed her.

Plan tonight is - give her Calpol straight away. We're working on the assumption that something is causing her discomfort (teething?) and preventing her from getting back to sleep. If that doesn't work, we're back to letting her cry it out from tomorrow.

Despite the lack fo sleep we've had a great weekend and I feel very relaxed. We went to the Wildlife Photographer of the Year Exhibition at the Natural History Museum yesterday, preceded by a very chilled lunch in the Poynter Room of the V&A. It's one of those congregation points for the middle classes - there was a distinct lack of trainers, make-up, hair gel and, sadly, style. Dp called it a chav-free zone.

Developmentally, Jam-beans is rolling over both ways with increasing confidence, and still banging things together as if her life depended on it. She's definitely got the hang of eating rice cakes too, which is a relief as it's instant and pretty much the only thing between contentment and a hissy fit if she's decided she's hungry and has to eat NOOOOOWW.

Tooth number 3 and a whole lot more

Thursday 1st March.

Gosh, it feels like Development Day today.

Jasmine is 10 months and 3 days old today, or 8 months and 2 days, depending on which way you look at it, and weighs 7.91kg. And it's been a big day at the baby office for our little Jam-beans.

First of all, Jasmine's 3rd tooth was discovered poking through this morning. Hurrah! That could explain all the 4am wakings over the last week, and her inability to get back to sleep without screaming at the top of her lungs for about an hour whilst frantically stuffing an entire muzzie in her mouth.

We're so used to saying 'it could be teething' at every fit and tantrum, with no subsequent evidence to prove us right, that it didn't even occur to me over the last week that a tooth was coming through. My usual insecurities about not feeding her enough (obviously the Indian in me coming out) just took over and I assumed she was waking up in the middle of the night feeling hungry.

It's the top left incisor, and I knew it had arrived as breastfeeding felt a bit, um, rougher, than usual. I always said that when the top teeth came through then I would stop breastfeeding, and I had always planned to stop at about this time, but in all honesty I've been putting it off because I'm not looking forward to the crying, and protests, and rooting, and all the hassle of making up bottles morning and night. It was hard enough cutting back to twice a day. But I guess I just have to grit my teeth and get on with it. The longer I leave it, the louder she gets...

Then Jasmine decides that today is also Rollover Day. As in back-to-front rolling over. Which she has done with great skill and confidence 3 times today.
The last time about 5 minutes ago - when she rolled off our bed.

Whoops.

Not as bad as it could be, I suppose, as our bed is a futon and is only about 4 inches from the ground, but that definitely marks the end of something, and the beginning of something else a whole lot harder. Notwithstanding the oodles of guilt I am currently feeling for having left her unattended on a raised surface, I am at least pleased that after the initial screams she worked out by herself that she was OK and was perfectly quiet and calm when I went in to check on her and found her on the floor.

And for the first time today, the bub grabbed hold of her spoon, shoved it in her veggie puree and then stuck it in her mouth. She's done those 3 actions separately many times before, but today it was definitely with a sense of intent, rather than by accident, and as if to prove the point she did it again. It wasn't exactly a picture of grace and coordination but I was so proud.

I was also a bit proud of myself as I contentedly allowed Jazzoi to grab the hugest globs of lunch and smear/ throw/ daub/ flick/ drop them everywhere - all over her, the chair, my jeans, her clothes etc. without even a hint of panic at the mess. A few nights ago dp said that he sometimes thinks I'm a bit obsessive compulsive with my mania for order and tidiness. That worried me so I am resolved to prove to him that I can be chilled about it - if I choose. I haven't given up the idea that it is just a strategy of his to get me to let him get away with being a messy pig.

But I digress. The last (or maybe just the latest) 'first' that Jassamina did was cut back to two naps a day. Her first was for about half an hour between 11.30 and midday, then she stayed awake until 4.30pm without so much as a yelp of fatigue.

Now I'm praying that she naps for a good hour so I can finish this and have a cuppa and a relax. It's just hit me how tired I am, as it's 5pm now which means I've been up for 11 hours today already. Blimey.