what u doin mummy?

I was chatting on the blower to Uncle Mary yesterday, swapping notes on the bubs, as you do. And she was saying how baby Kate's developmental thang was all about babbling and communication. And I was saying how baby Felix' developmental thang was all about mobility. And she was saying how that's so typical of all the baby girls and boys in her NCT group, which got me comparing notes to when Jasmine was a bub (corrected age of course) and how that all seems totally true. That's not to say Felix doesn't talk - he babbles quite a lot - but it ain't half so interesting to him as moving is.

Jasmine's developmental thang is asking questions. Right now, it's 'what u doin?' As in:

'what you doin mummy?'

'I'm washing up'

'You washing up.'... (pause) 'what u doin mummy?'

and so on.

And yet more Kew

Work is just totally manic. And when I get home it's straight into picking up the kids. My evenings are mainly taken up with work, and since none of us have been sleeping too brilliantly these last few weeks, we're all completely shattered and there's simply no time to write. Not a total disaster since there's not too much to write about: I'm too busy running just to stand still and the world at large is totally fucked (economy's trashed, we're in recession, doom & gloom yadda yadda)

BUT... in the short 6 days since Felix first crawled 2 inches, he's now making his way across thresholds, into other rooms, over to boxes and buckets and tables and everywhere. It's amazing. He's totally amazing. And teeth number 3 and 4 are beginning to poke through. And he's getting more and more handsome each day.

Jambeans is currently in 7th Heaven this weekend as Granma is up and she's the best thing since sliced bread.

And as for me, I love Autumn, and there's nothing more invigorating than Kew on a fresh, windy Autumn day.

Inching forward

The weekend. At last. We're both exhausted and need a lie in. Someone forgot to tell Felix it was the weekend. He woke at a quarter to six, which is totally rude. But then he rewarded mummy by crawling forward a whole 2 inches (as in proper crawling) before faceplanting into the plastic rings. I was moved to tears.

As if that wasn't enough, he started doing some serious babbling - babababababababa - then paused, then opened his mouth again...

And then my baby boy said ma-ma.

What a total result.

Wannabe wrestler

Felix wants to crawl. He really really WANTS to crawl. His determination is so fierce that bf and I are having a job changing his nappy these days. He wriggles and jiggles and flips onto his front, then up on all fours faster than, erm, a very fast thing. I had to wrestle him back onto the mat many times in quick succession yesterday, then pin him down before he could escape again (or worse still, before he weed all over the carpet) and then grapple his nappy on. And he kept resisting, and struggling to get free and shouting his protests. And he's strong too. God knows how I'll cope with him when he's bigger.

Maybe it's a boy thing. Maybe it's a full-term thing. Maybe it's just a Felix thing but I sure as hell don't remember Jambeans being this wriggly.

tough week. crazy at work and not sleeping brilliantly...

tough week. crazy at work and not sleeping brilliantly so feel cream crackered. pedro and lax came round for dinner that evening. v. cool and relaxed but i was tripping a bit on only 4 hours sleep so can't really remember much of it but bf said i was on good form. saw tina's new baby ava loridana today and remembered how much i had forgotten about the first few months, if that makes sense. ciaran came too. used to work with them both in 2000 but haven't sat down in a room with either of them for years. all very chilled. jambeans been very diva like lately. moaning a lot when she doesn't get what she wants. not eating much - unusual for a bub with a reputation for being trough monster (as previously mentioned). it's thrown us a bit so when she cries we tend to offer her food in case she's hungry, and she will often have a little bit. ends up with her having lots of small meals and us not knowing whether she's sated, or just fussy and is refusing to eat food unless it's cake. but we're not giving her cake so don't know if she's hungry and so on. mad keen to explore everything, even when tired so she's taking lots of tumbles too. bf feeling a bit out of kilter because the bub is quite hard to read at the moment, and it's tiring and frustrating when you get it wrong. am trying best to be sympathetic but know i'm not giving him full attention as am a bit self absorbed/ obsessed with work and bad back which is killing me so much that sometimes i can't walk, or sit, or lift a bag and i know it's melodrama but am getting totally paranoid about paralysis. but on the good side have uploaded loads of jambeans photos so can make blog look pretty again.

All hail Goddess Nigella

Yesterday

Made Nigella's blueberry muffins yesterday. Yet another triumph from the domestic goddess.

The motivation to bake is because we're having a floral-themed party in a few weeks' time to celebrate Jasmine's due date birthday. A flimsy excuse for a bit of a do really.

I've been panicking for weeks. It was my idea to have the party - it's been ages since I've had one - but ever since the invites went out and just about everyone said yes (why weren't any of them busy that weekend?) I've been mired in party paranoia. Food, entertainment, space (lack, thereof), decoration, what will I wear, is the house safe enough for all the little bubs, do we have enough space? all that worry has flooded in. But the panic has given us enough motivation finally to stow outgrown baby paraphernalia in the loft and offload boxes to the second-hand shop, most of which we hadn't unpacked since we moved in. Just don't open any cupboards in our house without a hard hat, that's all.

Today

Gloriously sunny today. We were planning tozzzz go buy stair gateszzzzzz at Brent Crosszzzzzzzzzzz (admittedly at my insistence - now the bub is crawling I am terrified of going to the loo without fear of her base jumping down the stairs) but such a boring plan didn't fit with such a beautiful day, and when boyfried made his usual joke about going to the zoo we both thought, why not?

Animals were on good form. Took the camera so finally have some more photos to upload. Jambeans' been running a fever today. We think, because of the MMR, but also she's dribbling like mad at the mo so there must be a tooth on the way. She enjoyed the zoo though. Particularly the fish. Man she just loved those fish. Her whole face lit up. I'm sure she thought it was like watching a zillion, enormous tellies, really close up, with no one saying no.

hamster latest

jamster hamster...

... is still big on cruising, particularly likes hanging on with one hand and bending down to pick up something else with the other

... eats like a horse ...

... but gets fussy at mealtimes, sometimes only eating if she can feed herself, which she does very inexpertly with a spoon, getting more on the chair/ floor/ me/ than in her gob

... doesn't quite get what scooping is all about yet so her favourite manoeuvre is to grab the spoon, throw it in the bowl then wave her arms about quite madly in an abracadabra type motion as if the food will then leap onto the spoon by magic

... prefers using her fingers to eat, even for soft, mushy food, which she daubs onto her fingers before shoving them into her mouth

... thinks bananas are great, her favourite bit being the banana skin which she bites into with relish? guess (hope) that's a teething thing.

... is also dribbling madly today so we guess #7 is coming soon

... is fascinated by 'in' and 'out' and will endlessly put something in the cup/bowl/box/etc. then out the cup then in the cup then out the cup, even (especially?) if the cup is full of water

... likes crawling around in the garden

... likes passing things to mummy and daddy then taking them back and passing them and taking them back and passing them and taking them yaaaawwwnn

... is still obsessed with clapping

... has started to copy, so will take the hairbrush and brush her own hair, or feed us raisins or will hold mummy's mobile to her ear

... has started to get onto her knees, or even stand up in her cot (grobag permitting) if she doesn't want to sleep at night

... throws tantrums, cries when we leave the room and is growing quite nicely into a right little diva

crossing the threshold

jambeans crawled into the hall by herself today. she was looking for me - crawled quite confidently down the hall, but then got hesitant just before the dining room and stopped for a bit of a think.
ooh she's just adorable

she thought i wasn't looking, but i was peeking from the stairs. hee hee.

she's been on great from today, despite the cough and snot. we went to muzzie hill for brunch with caroline and ben and we both bought a hilarious book called "who's in the loo?" for our respective bubs. i also managed to pick up some i-saw-you-coming-bag-and-necklace-type-stuff that i don't really need, but i don't feel guilty at all. ha ha.

Jazzie please sleeeeeeeep

snot monster re-invasion, combined with general scrumbly teething behaviour and light sleep &/ nightmares induced by brave new world of crawling/walking means jambeans now crying her lungs out and has been for last 45 minutes and i want to go to bed as busy day tomorrow what with bank holiday meaning two day week and jambeans pleasesleeeeeepppzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Definitely crawling now

Overnight Jasmine has gone from "but eet huuurrrrts myyyyy aaarrrrmmmms" to "andare andare ariba ariba" on the hands and knees front.

I left her alone for a few minutes in the middle of the living room yesterday and returned to find her by the bookcase systematically ripping the pages out of the A-Z.

With a very smug smile on her face :-)

Didn't realise it could be this fab

Sunday 15th April

Sun's out, Jam-beans is being adorable and I'm still on a huge motherhood roll. So I'm basically going to gush for the whole of this post.

This weekend the weather turned seriously summery, so we've been shopping, gone to London Zoo, chilled at Kenwood House and enjoyed the bluebells at Ashridge. Now I understand why I work part-time - it's just been totally fab.

Brent Cross was heaving, as per usual (I still can't believe how many people don't work on a Thursday. Where do they all come from, and more importantly, where does all that shopping money come from?) Jazzie and I had our first, proper girlie lunch at the food temple that is Carluccios, only she did a poo halfway through and I had to risk leaving pram and shopping bags under the i'm-not-sure-how-watchful eye of the waiter to go change her. Still, everything was there when I got back and it earned him a decent tip. Jazzie's got shiny red teething cheeks at the moment, which, combined with her flirty-long lashes, meant we had a constant stream of mainly octagenarian admirers.

The zoo on Friday was even more heaving - predominantly with chavs, markedly different from the middle-class childfest it was last time we came. There was a huge queue - about an hours' wait we guessed, which thankfully we avoided by paying the daylight-robbery-tenner for the Zoo Car Park, and getting our entrance tickets there. All the animals were out and were being perky. Jasmine loves watching the animals move - she just zones in with her eyes and her face fills with concentration. The new Gorilla Kingdom is fantastic, but even better was the new rainforest enclosure, where we watched sloths and tamarins move about without the usual encumbrance of a glass barrier. Sadly no photos from the zoo to post - we tried our hand at wildlife cinematography instead and got loads of wobbly video clips.

Jam-beans has been amazing for the whole weekend. Soundtrack to her life at the moment is She Wants to Move cos she just can't sit still. She loves to do wobbly standing (as demonstrated in the photo here at Kew a couple of weeks ago) and has made tentative attempts to shift her weight from side to side and take a few steps. She's also mad keen to pull herself up by herself. She hasn't quite managed it yet, but I have lots of stretched tops and bras to show how hard she's been trying to grab hold and pull up.

She's still big on waving, which is adorable and heartwarming because it's such a brilliant way for her to interact with us.















She's also babbling loads at the moment. Syllable du jour is 'ba-ba-ba-ba' but she's also back on 'ma-ma-ma' and I am absolutely convinced (no evidence - just bloody-minded belief) that she knows it means me. She looked straight into my eyes earlier today, paused and then said really clearly 'ma-ma' - I nearly cried it felt so great.

Saturday and Sunday, today, have been for walking in the lovely sunshine. While Jazzie's trying to watch the whole world out there and take it all in, my eyes are just fixed on watching her grow. It's intense, and quite obsessive, but utterly fab and it just keeps getting better.

No more hoovering, ever

Thursday 15th March

Bam-jeans did a big vomit all over our bed as I was feeding her this morning. Her head was just covered in smelly milky upchuck. Poor bf, who desperately needed a lie in, had to get up to scrub the mattress and change the sheet. I hope it's not the start of a virus as we are planning to go to the West Country tonight, to see the folks and chill out for the long weekend.

Jazzie has been fighting the snot monster again, so unbroken sleep has been scarce. Her 4 teeth are getting really sharp. She's started to get impatient with her feeding chair and her buggy and moans and wriggles after a few minutes in them. I guess she just wants to move - she's rotating round on her tummy and rolling over pretty much constantly, so I suspect she'll be crawling before her 1st birthday. She has also earned to pull my hair with renewed vigour, and pluck at vest straps. Today, she has mainly been saying aah-waah-aah-waah-aah-waah-aah-waah-aah-waah-waaah-waahh-waah over and over.

Mother's Day is this Sunday. May sound stoopid but I'm looking forward to it, being my first and all that.

Bf's birthday is next week. I ordered him a very funny card from Moonpig last week and now I've bloody gone and lost it. I suspect it ended up in the recycling bin. Not like me to be so careless but I have been a total zombie this week so anything could have happened.

Other stuff. Work was OK last week. Got stuff done. Met up with my friend Simon who's back in the UK after a 2-year sojourn in Sydney and that was very cool.

We haven't been up to much. Had some friends over for a very chilled lunch last Saturday. Watched a couple of films. I had a mammoth Spring cleaning fit last week and did the whole house. My back's been killing me ever since - I can barely carry the bub - so I've been popping painkillers about twice a day. I spoke to my mum and she told me, on doctor's orders, never to touch a hoover again. Advice like that I can handle.

Stories I am too tired to write about

Well, I was going to try and write about Nicki and new baby Siena, who has been putting on weight quite slowly since being born (on Valentines Day - just over 3 weeks ago), so Nicki's Dairy has opened 24/7 for feeding and expressing and bottles.

Or how Jam-beans has slept well for the last 3 nights and gone back to 10 hour stints. Even though that still means I am up at 5am.

Or that tooth number 4 is appearing.

Or that she seems to be back on vegetables, for yesterday at least.

Or how yesterday she looked as if she was realy trying to crawl, as she pulled herself round in a circle on her tummy.

Or how things that I thought would be hard at work are turning out to be easy. And things I didn't even think of are turning out to be a real challenge. (Like the stop-start-stop-start of doing 3 days a week, and missing all the good things about my old job, but forgetting what was hard about it).

Or how within two weeks of losing the Carling Cup, and going out of the FA cup, Arsenal have now bombed out of the Champions League. And Man U, Chelsea and Liverpool all made it to the quarters, which makes it harder, and Thierry Henry is injured for at least 3 weeks, which makes it totally pants.

Instead I am going to moan about feeling so tired I can barely function.