Wednesday 4 July 2007

bolt awake since 3am

couldn't sleep last night.
woke at 3,
lay awake,
eyes wide open,
heart beating fast,
totally wired.

i'm worried about my future.

i suppose i ought to write i'm worried about the future, and that's why i can't sleep. worried about things like global warming and bomb threats and wanting to protect my children.

but it's not true. they're not enough for me to lose sleep about.

it's all about ME.

my
future.

work.
family.
money.
that stuff.

and now i am stiff.
and wired.
and tired.

and stressed.

about my future.

aaaaaaarrrggghhhhhh.

2 comments:

The rat and the monkey said...

I have been going through the same thing, thinking about bigger issues like global warming and terrorism and then realising that I am only actually worried about whether it's ME who will get blown up, or whether it's MY children who will be flooded by crazy weather...so selfish...
I blame on the media...(how original)
And then my friend tells me that it's best NOT to have children to save them from it! What point is there to living at all then?! Am I selfish to want children even it would be better for them not to exist?
I am soooooo confused...

Nupur said...

don't be confused - listen to your heart, not your friends. it's all glib talk anyway.

i think you misunderstood me though, and made me out to be a better person than i actually am.

what i was trying to say was that i SHOULD be more worried about the big issues, like the future we're destroying for jasmine. but in fact i'm more worried about selfish things like whether i have a career or enough money to put jasmine through university AND do up our house.

sorry to disappoint. but there you have me warts n all.